An uncomfortable topic. (content warning: discussion of genitalia)
A criticism directed at Lukas Dhont's film 'Girl' is that Lara's story is viewed through a cisgender lens, as Dhont himself is Cisgender, and that it has a particular obsession with trans bodies.
Much of the criticism of Girl came before Nora Monsecour publicly stated that
a. 'Lara's' story is closely based on her own story
b. that she was involved in the casting of Victor Polster to play Lara...
Equally many of those criticising the film, which I will state, for the record that I have not yet seen in full, regardless of their own gender identity are not dancers so are unaware of the pressures that the dance world imposes with regard to bodies and the pressures that someone who is dysphoric imposes on themselves...
While, as a 41 year old who has been taking class for only a couple of years I have virtually no chance of earning a living from being a dance artist, I still have some awareness of the pressures the dance world imposes, as even in adult recreational ballet - without the pressure of exams or performances there is still the internal pressure to achieve and the temptation to compare your own performance to that of others.
However this post is not going to be a critique of Girl, that I shall save until I have had the opportunity to view it in full.
The uncomfortable topic is body image and the intersection of dance and gender dysphoria...
Those of who who follow me on social media ( I have Facebook, Twitter and Instagram to name the 3 mainstream sites ) - and quite a few of you will have got here via one of those channels) will know i do post pictures and i have my picture on various other sites/accounts , you'll have noticed that some of these pictures aren't exactly the most flattering.
Over the past 6 or so months I've lost 10 kg in weight (and I was all ready around 10 -13 kg less than my weight at it's highest) and thanks to hormones, a another medication (finasteride) and now GnRH analogues i've stopped the masculinising effects and begun the feminising process of medical transition...
So i'm less hairy in places other than my head and face, more hairy on the top of my head, see; Hair Today and I have started to get noticeable breast development... which is all great and goes to alleviate my dysphoria, however it doesn't address one particular issue, one which can be rather noticeable...
in Go Get Your Armour I talk about how my presentation ballet class is coded to be stereotypically femme, and how i generally wear wrap skirts or over dresses ... before December i always wore a wrap skirt or shorts over leotard and tights, and i was convinced that my 'pre-operative' status would be apparent regardless of my ability to tuck ...
I also found tucking very uncomfortable, however an effect of starting the GnRH analogue has been to make tucking more comfortable, although i still worried about security...
There are innumerable descriptions of how to secure a tuck on the internet and elsewhere, but one thing i have noticed is that they generally make it impossible to use the toilet, which is none viable for taking class - even though on a hot day in the studio it can near impossible to keep pace with fluid demand...
so i've come up with a way that works for me ... it combines aspects of two f the typical methods
1. taping
2. using very close fitting and firm underwear.
i'm glad to say it survived class and pointe class to day and a number of hours afterwards without any fear of escape ... the only echappes today were in pointe class...
Much of the criticism of Girl came before Nora Monsecour publicly stated that
a. 'Lara's' story is closely based on her own story
b. that she was involved in the casting of Victor Polster to play Lara...
Equally many of those criticising the film, which I will state, for the record that I have not yet seen in full, regardless of their own gender identity are not dancers so are unaware of the pressures that the dance world imposes with regard to bodies and the pressures that someone who is dysphoric imposes on themselves...
While, as a 41 year old who has been taking class for only a couple of years I have virtually no chance of earning a living from being a dance artist, I still have some awareness of the pressures the dance world imposes, as even in adult recreational ballet - without the pressure of exams or performances there is still the internal pressure to achieve and the temptation to compare your own performance to that of others.
However this post is not going to be a critique of Girl, that I shall save until I have had the opportunity to view it in full.
The uncomfortable topic is body image and the intersection of dance and gender dysphoria...
Those of who who follow me on social media ( I have Facebook, Twitter and Instagram to name the 3 mainstream sites ) - and quite a few of you will have got here via one of those channels) will know i do post pictures and i have my picture on various other sites/accounts , you'll have noticed that some of these pictures aren't exactly the most flattering.
Over the past 6 or so months I've lost 10 kg in weight (and I was all ready around 10 -13 kg less than my weight at it's highest) and thanks to hormones, a another medication (finasteride) and now GnRH analogues i've stopped the masculinising effects and begun the feminising process of medical transition...
So i'm less hairy in places other than my head and face, more hairy on the top of my head, see; Hair Today and I have started to get noticeable breast development... which is all great and goes to alleviate my dysphoria, however it doesn't address one particular issue, one which can be rather noticeable...
in Go Get Your Armour I talk about how my presentation ballet class is coded to be stereotypically femme, and how i generally wear wrap skirts or over dresses ... before December i always wore a wrap skirt or shorts over leotard and tights, and i was convinced that my 'pre-operative' status would be apparent regardless of my ability to tuck ...
I also found tucking very uncomfortable, however an effect of starting the GnRH analogue has been to make tucking more comfortable, although i still worried about security...
There are innumerable descriptions of how to secure a tuck on the internet and elsewhere, but one thing i have noticed is that they generally make it impossible to use the toilet, which is none viable for taking class - even though on a hot day in the studio it can near impossible to keep pace with fluid demand...
so i've come up with a way that works for me ... it combines aspects of two f the typical methods
1. taping
2. using very close fitting and firm underwear.
i'm glad to say it survived class and pointe class to day and a number of hours afterwards without any fear of escape ... the only echappes today were in pointe class...
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