To my Dad

Dad

I have something to tell you.

I have been lying to you  forever.  Your strong, brave son who wanted to be just like his daddy was a lie.

I wish  I had the words and the courage to have said this before you died.

My name is Nicola Jayne, I am your Daughter. I am still strong, I am still brave.

You inspire me, I hope you can look at me  and see that same spark, that same dignity and sense of purpose, that same integrity  honesty and pride  in job well done.

My name is Nicola Jayne, I am your Daughter.

I hope you will be proud of me, I hope you never blame yourself for anything you  said or did ,  there is nothing I would have changed, ok except maybe the teasing  about  how my hair curls when it grows and how it should have ribbons in it ...  I would  have loved to have  been on your arm in a ball gown with my  hair cascading  down my  back in ringlets  as we collected  some of the prizes  we won for sailing. 

My name is Nicola Jayne, I am your Daughter and I love you  and miss you  every single day.