What is the mask and what is me ?

One of the great mysteries of realising you are trans is unknotting what was the the act, the 'armour' and what is the real you...

Many trans people become adept at building a mask, for many reasons  

1. Protection from those who would harm them , sadly  in some cases this includes family, i'm lucky  that even if i had come out  at a child or teen my parents  would have  continued to love and support me,  however i do fear  a bit about the medical worlds attitudes then

2. Socialisation - The amateur form of 'Conversion therapy' that people  often try when a loved one  'comes out' with  some behaviour  or belief that challenges  their own

3. Defence from Society -  the bullying  of  others in  school or the workplace and until relatively  recently the  tacit approval of management  towards bullying and the like

4. Trying to fulfill other people's expectations... a belief that you can 'cure' yourself of  what's wrong  whether that is through 'manning up ' ( plenty of trans  women who are  military  veterans ,whether regular or reserve -  also  if you  read some of the  stuff   Hannah Graf ne Winterbourne has written about her  pre coming out service...   then  there are the macho or  high risk sports ...  some people stay involved e.g. Charlie Martin others step back or even let it go completely ...  (  would link to a friend  but I also know she doesn't  really like  her past exploits  of that nature brought up).

So with your realisation of being trans especially once you have reached  your mid 20s or beyond before you click all those puzzle pieces together, comes the world of  unpeeling  the mask that has been stuck on and trying to do it without  ripping  (too much ) your skin off...