A neoclassical narrative

If one looks at  the past  writing , even by clinicians about  trans gender people there has been a want or need to classify, clarify and divide  trans people into groups , often with a value judgement attached to this classification,  whether this the  previously  accepted  classification as 'primary' and 'secondary' transsexuals or the  highly  disputed categories of  'homosexual transsexual' and 'autogynephile'  as proposed  by  Ray Blanchard and widely ignored by  reputable clinical  sources and the International consensus  but robustely defended by Blanchard and a few other dissident  voices who cannot  see it's obvious flaws.

With this came the classical  narrative of the primary  transsexual, someone :- 

• who has always known they were trans and has clearly expressed this before puberty 
• is 'heterosexual' after transition 
• has profound and focused physical dysphoria around their genitals 
• is stereotypically a member of their acquired gender in behaviours

This classical narrative utter  utter  rubbish and  ironically contributes to the  way in which the so called 'secondary trans sexual  is  prevented from realisiing their identity, especially in the case of people whose  education  was under the  pernicious effect of Section 28, where  gender identity much like sexual orientation became taboo subjects in schools and inherently homophobic and transphobic staff set societal norms  made discussion impossible never mind coming out ...  

 So why is this post  entitled  'A neoclassical narrative', those  who follow me elsewhere will know that I take ballet class and have been known to perform in both contemporary and ballet  dance pieces ... 

Neoclassical ballet  may be described as follows - "What is left is the dance itself, sophisticated but sleekly modern, retaining the pointe shoe aesthetic, " describing Balanchine, the  more abstract work of people like MacMillan  or even , despite narrative nature their work much of the output of Northern Ballet including pieces choreographed by Kenny Tindall - especially something like Shape of Sound.

so what is the relevance of this to  my narrative  of being a transgender woman ...  aside from being a transgender woman who is at times a dance artist...

" what is left is the dance, sophisticated and sleek... "

I've always been trans  just for a long long  time i never had the words to express it ...  then  in a dark place of survival i didn't have time  or energy to think about my identity, what made me so unhappy... I had a face to show a mask to wear - mask to hide , a mask to give hope , a mask to  divert ...

my life , the gaps and  lack of understanding of things makes so much more sense  and less gap fuilled when viewed  through  the lens i know hold , the lens of a  lesbian  who happens to have a transgender history ...